On a more personal note

So far, my postings, while meaningful to me, are still general and lacking much personal information such as opinions and feelings. This time, I think I will take it to a place closer to my heart. I have long been a person that feels as if I was born in the wrong time. I feel like an old soul that has been placed in a time where the confusion and chaos rule supreme and keep me from achieving my true potential. I am sure this sounds crazy to most of you, but I feel there are some of you that will understand what I am talking about. What brought all of this on? I submitted myself to a little bit of self-indulgent sappiness this evening. I watched one of my all-time favorite movies, Little Women. You know, the one with Susan Sarandon and the crew. Well, every single time I watch that movie (which is not often) I find myself longing to be in a different time and place, a different lifestyle so to speak. I long for the closeness of having sisters and friends. I dream of being the kind of mother that Marmieelse's house blocking my view. I want to feel free to do whatever I choose with the home I live in. I want to own a horse someday, to ride with the wind and feel free of the trappings of modern day living. Will any of these things ever happen? I don't know. Maybe not, but I can still hold out hope. But here's a hypothetical question.....if time travel was possible and you could choose what time period you could go to....where would you go? I like so many times and places in history, I think I would have a hard time choosing. Would you take anyone with you or would you go alone and start all over again, fresh and in a different place? There are so many questions, I could spend all night listing them. It is truly an intriguing idea. How many people would jump at the chance to go back in time to escape this modern day chaos? I know I would.

Midlife Crisis

     Is there really such a thing as a midlife crisis? If so, when does it happen? Is there an age range? Are there guidelines that determine whether a life-upheaval is a midlife crisis or simply a difficult time in life? Are there precipitating factors that can tip us off to an impending midlife crisis or is it always a sudden uprising in a person's daily activities? So many questions arise when discussing a "midlife crisis". Some people doubt that midlife crises are true occurrances. Some feel that the available excuse of a midlife crisis is the perfect way to resolve their guilt and avoid answering the tough questions that their actions evoke. I have a different theory in mind.
     There are various detailed reasons for people to have such drastic and life-altering changes in their daily lives. I feel the main reason is that people realize their mortality and acknowledge the temporary nature of their existence. Given this occurrance, it is easy to see why so many people leave the old and familiar for something new and exciting. Buy a new car, something fast and sporty. Break a relationship with your wife or long-term girlfriend just to date a  younger, more exciting woman. Change your career. Change your style. Form new habits and break old ones. Develop a new skill. Take a chance learning something you've always wanted to try. Try to fulfill the dreams, however unrealistic they may be, that you have carried around for years because you felt unable to reach for them. While all of these things may seem to be the thing to do at the moment, they are rarely fulfilling and often leave the person floundering in despair at the loss of all that was once theirs.
     Another possible reason for midlife crises lies in the slower or halted psychological development of people. Women notoriously mature faster than men causing a predictable unhappiness in the relationship when the man refuses to grow up. Some of us began our formative years restricted from the usual activities that help define who we truly are inside. The vicious cycle starts when we don't know ourselves and we are kept from discovery by everyday life such as jobs, family, marriage, kids, education, and stress. Once most of us escape the restrictions mentioned, we are then able to discover the person we are and want to be. Often that person is not who we have been up to that point. This causes disention in the relationships we have formed over the years, leading to a strain or break in the relationship.
     So, what happens when those of us who walked through life as strangers to ourselves finally discover who we are? Well, we start to realize the things that make us happy. We begin to decide where life should lead us. The goals that for so long seemed out of reach become attainable. The feelings we held inside so long burst through and we begin to take our own needs and wants seriously. We gravitate towards the things that make us happy. We free our minds of the societal and moral restrictions and realize that the way you live your life is only in your own hands. No one else can decide for you. No one can force you to conform. For some people, this is a dangerous state of mind as all behavior, no matter how questionable it is, is condoned by your internal voice.
     While this uproar is confusing to the person it's happening to, their confusion is nothing next to that of their loved ones and friends. They can't truly understand the trails that midlife crisis can cause. Facing your mortality is a difficult experience for anyone but when that is combined with the change in personality, desires, and goals, it becomes the giant pink elephant in the room. No one will offically notice the elephant but everyone knows it's there. Taking the stand to support your loved one in what they are going through and making every effort to help them achieve happiness is an important step in maintaining relationships. The process won't be easy but by working hard to keep an open mind and give your loved one the space they need can help keep the situation from getting to the breaking point.
     It's never an easy thing to deal with when midlife crisis strikes in your home. There are no financial, age or educational predictors. It can occur to anyone of any age, background or lifestyle. Some of us will succeed in preventing the crisis from taking over and some of us will fail. It's very important to realize that midlife crises  are not the fault of any one person. Most often there can be no blame placed. An open, nonjudgemental atmosphere can blunt some of the more damaging aspect of dealing with the upheaval of a midlife crisis and facilitate a return to the balance of relationship. Will it ever be the same as it was? Probably not. It will be different but the way each participant handles it can decided whether it is a good change or a bad one.