Perfectly Imperfect

     Ahhh....Perfection. The pipe dream of life. Imagine.....life in the job of your dreams with the handsome, successful spouse who worships the ground you walk on, the 2.3 kids that clean up after themselves, follow directions, and always take your advice. You are touted as the most beautiful person, inside and out. You have a dog that fetches the paper and never has accidents in the house. The car you have always wanted in your favorite color. The beach house, as well as the mountain chalet that you vacation at twice a year. You have plenty of money in the bank and finances are not a worry. You are set for retirement even though you are still young and your kids already have the funding for college. You have the perfect life full of laughter and love, freedom and excitement, friendship and family. Sounds good, doesn't it? Too bad that most of us will never come close to living the dream. Now the reality....
     Imperfection is a staple of daily life. It is a part of every person's experiences. Our imperfections make us who we are, individuals among the masses. Often, we fight to deny our imperfections in an attempt to reach the lofty goals set for us by society in general. According to the currently trending social norms, a person is not worthy until they are beautiful, rich, and intelligent. Those of us that don't fit into that mold are sometimes considered beneath notice. Imperfections can lead to disturbing and often debilitating emotional issues. Being hyperaware of your imperfections can end up in low self-esteem and depression. Inability to distinguish between the glamorized and often enhanced beauty of the Hollywood crowd and real life can be detrimental to a young girls developing self-image. You are made to feel inferior, unable to determine your own self-worth. Starting at an early age, children are held to a high standard for appearances. To fit in and be popular, you must have the newest brand name clothes, the state of the art technology, the freedom from parental constraints. Young girls are not considered beautiful unless they are thin yet curvy, with long hair and perfect skin. Young men are expected to be muscled and athletic, with the attitude of tolerance rather than compliance. As the years progress, the social pressures change slightly, but remain a prominent influence in development. Inability to make peace with our perceived imperfections can lead to depression and the likelihood of further mental instabilities.
     Behavioral issues can include such things as eating disorders, destructive tendencies, and outrageousness in interactions with acquaintances and friends. People that are plagued by their imperfections seek attention from other in order to appease the need for recognition. This can lead to undesirable activities like drinking, doing drugs, and illicit behaviors. As the behaviors continue, the craving for attention increases causing escalation in activities. It is a vicious cycle in that the more attention a person gets, the more they crave. Soon, not only does the pressure of society cause low self-esteem, but the person's own disgust at behaviors that they realize are unwarranted, but that they are unable to stop. Most of the time, a person is aware of their short-comings and the need for change but the steps to take are unclear. This is where an intervention of sorts is needed.
     In most cases, the help needed to correct issues caused by imperfection is simply to help the person become comfortable in their own skin. The imperfections should be presented as uniqueness instead of short-comings. It should be emphasized that imperfections can help define you rather than destroy you. By helping the person to be the best they can be physically, emotionally and behaviorally, you can help to turn the tide of despair into hope for the future. The attention seeking behaviors will reduce in frequency as the person begins to realize that attention they desire is most valuable when it comes from within. When looking in the mirror, a person should see and accept their imperfections as part of who they are and be able to love themselves, flaws and all. A person should remember that mistakes are going to happen in life and that they are unavoidable. Lessons learned from mistakes can sometimes be the strongest of them all. Letting go of the past, dealing with mistakes, and taking the lessons learned to heart can go a long way to improving your self-esteem. By embracing and accepting imperfections, life can be closer to the dream than thought possible. Life can truly be enjoyed living as one of the perfectly imperfect.

The Audacity of Ignorance

     Ignorance causes a lot of distress in life. By no means do I mean to target those who are simply unaware or uneducated. Those folks are simply unable to follow the rules and norms due to lack of knowledge. I am speaking of those that are educated and aware of life's peculiarities. These are the people that can cause undue stress and pain to the others who must deal with them on a daily basis. From my experiences, ignorance not only leads to unacceptable behaviors, but can destroy friendships, careers and marriages. Ignorance breeds jealousy, hatred, narcissism, racism, greed and fear to name a few. When a person embraces their ignorance instead of striving to be rid of it, true monsters are born. This is where you find the truly scary people. These are the people who can admit no wrong, the perfect individuals who cannot accept responsibility for the harm their actions and thoughts cause to others. Also in this group of ignorant individuals you will find the know-it-alls, the perfectionists and the ones who embrace childishness and pettyness. I have recently had the displeasure to have to deal with an individual that qualifies in several of these categories. Not only has this caused me untold stress and angst, but it has affected those around me in a negative manner. While unable to avoid exposure to these situations at this time, I have made an effort to limit contact as much as possible. In this way, I am trying to control the situation in order to achieve a moderately happy outcome. When dealing with a person beset by ignorance, it is important to remember that no matter how logical you approach any issues, your approach will be perceived as an attack. All constructive criticism will be considered as a personal attack even when it doesn't have anything to do with personal business. I have recently learned that there are some people who are worth the effort it takes to rid them of their ignorance and then there are those who are not. I now realize that those that are not worth the effort are simply best left to their own devices. By allowing these people to influence your thoughts, behaviors and emotions, you are giving them power over you. A friend once told me that there is no one on Earth who has the power to hurt you, unless you allow them to. Fortunately, this friend is one of the wisest people I know and I appreciate her more than I will ever be able to express. I have learned some hard lessons in the past months and I am sure there are more to come. While understanding that avoidance of the ignorant in life, limiting contact and educating those afflicted with this debilitating and contagious problem can help to deal with the problems they cause.